Currently, a battle is raging in one of our communities concerning books on the shelves of the public library. The two sides of this issue couldn’t be further apart. One side champions the representation of our full community especially those on the fringes and the other seeks to protect children from the very content others want available to all. Ask one side and they will tell you how the other side is wrong. Both sides have engaged the battle in the court of public opinion and even in the presence of our county and city leaders. The battle is real. The battle is passionate. The battle is ongoing.
While I am convinced that we must protect our kids on all sides from inappropriate sexual content, the biggest danger to our kids can’t be checked out with a library card.
The greatest danger to our kids in their formative years is the device in their pockets. It’s the never-ending influence of social media. It's the Google search gone wrong. Devices become a source for consuming pornography. The average age for first exposure to pornography is just below 10 for both boys and girls. Let that sink in. By 4th grade, kids have seen pornography. Even before their parents have “the talk” with them, their view of sex and sexuality is being shaped by content that is even damaging to adults.
Devices also become a source of damaging comparison and identity building. Stats show that the rate of mental health issues is on the rise in Gen Z. Some say that this is the result of all of the emotional highs and lows that come with life on social media. Social media algorithms also feed an unhealthy means to “be your authentic self”, especially in the middle school years. Curious about something. Search it. Now, your video feed is filled with your curious thoughts. Watch a video or two and it will be days before you are free from the feed. This is how social media tells us what we want to hear and helps shape who we think we want to be.
Living in an ever-connected world isn’t going anywhere. So, we must learn to do two things to fight the over-sexualization of our kids. First, we must protect our kids from themselves online. This means that we must limit time on devices and limit access to content on devices. Some parents don’t want their kids to feel like they are part of a nanny state and refuse to do this. Others see the benefit and choose unpopularity at the moment for the long-term development of their children. It’s easier than ever to limit time and access on devices. Even if you aren’t a tech guru, you can do it. Check out this blog for some simple solutions.
Protecting your kids, like setting up digital fences, is a good step. But, even more than protection, we must provide a picture of healthy relationships. We need to teach them their value and worth. We need to teach them God’s design for relationships and sex. If the data is right, these talks need to begin before your kids leave elementary school.
Along with talks, parents establish boundaries for the benefit of their kids. Here is where I want to really push things: some parents rightly stand against clearly sinful relationships and messages on sex while encouraging their kids to date too early potentially leading to just as concerning and sinful relationships. We must provide a picture of the future for our kids where they don’t need a boyfriend or girlfriend to fit in at middle school or high school. We can’t unintentionally over-sexualize our own kids.
Did that shock you enough to see what you are really teaching your kids about love, dating, and sex? I hope so because our kids need us to protect them and to provide a picture of God-honoring relationships for them.
While I am convinced that we must protect our kids on all sides from inappropriate sexual content, the biggest danger to our kids can’t be checked out with a library card.
The greatest danger to our kids in their formative years is the device in their pockets. It’s the never-ending influence of social media. It's the Google search gone wrong. Devices become a source for consuming pornography. The average age for first exposure to pornography is just below 10 for both boys and girls. Let that sink in. By 4th grade, kids have seen pornography. Even before their parents have “the talk” with them, their view of sex and sexuality is being shaped by content that is even damaging to adults.
Devices also become a source of damaging comparison and identity building. Stats show that the rate of mental health issues is on the rise in Gen Z. Some say that this is the result of all of the emotional highs and lows that come with life on social media. Social media algorithms also feed an unhealthy means to “be your authentic self”, especially in the middle school years. Curious about something. Search it. Now, your video feed is filled with your curious thoughts. Watch a video or two and it will be days before you are free from the feed. This is how social media tells us what we want to hear and helps shape who we think we want to be.
Living in an ever-connected world isn’t going anywhere. So, we must learn to do two things to fight the over-sexualization of our kids. First, we must protect our kids from themselves online. This means that we must limit time on devices and limit access to content on devices. Some parents don’t want their kids to feel like they are part of a nanny state and refuse to do this. Others see the benefit and choose unpopularity at the moment for the long-term development of their children. It’s easier than ever to limit time and access on devices. Even if you aren’t a tech guru, you can do it. Check out this blog for some simple solutions.
Protecting your kids, like setting up digital fences, is a good step. But, even more than protection, we must provide a picture of healthy relationships. We need to teach them their value and worth. We need to teach them God’s design for relationships and sex. If the data is right, these talks need to begin before your kids leave elementary school.
Along with talks, parents establish boundaries for the benefit of their kids. Here is where I want to really push things: some parents rightly stand against clearly sinful relationships and messages on sex while encouraging their kids to date too early potentially leading to just as concerning and sinful relationships. We must provide a picture of the future for our kids where they don’t need a boyfriend or girlfriend to fit in at middle school or high school. We can’t unintentionally over-sexualize our own kids.
Did that shock you enough to see what you are really teaching your kids about love, dating, and sex? I hope so because our kids need us to protect them and to provide a picture of God-honoring relationships for them.